Activate My Heart
by Cassy-Kay
Summary: In the blink of an eye a large wolf has replaced Jacob and in another blink one has replaced Paul. There is a shrill ringing in my ears as the wolves collide and it takes me a few seconds of them fighting to realize it's me, screaming louder than I ever have in my entire life. I can recognize Jared repeating my name over and over but it sounds like he's a lifetime away. PaulxRachel
1. Prophecy

**Hello and welcome! I started writing this over three years ago but never posted it. I knew it was a jump into the future in the little world I had created on here and I had different stories to tell first. It's not going to be a very long one but, of all my stories, it's probably the only that will make the most sense to be read alone. There will be some references to the world and the original characters I have created but not a ton as a majority of this story does not take place in La Push.**

**If you do want to read the other stories in my Perfection world, below is the order I would recommend reading them in. Book 2 has one more chapter and Book 3 has two more chapters…I'm getting there. Anyways, please enjoy and — if you have a moment to review — it would mean the world to me. Also, this story is rated M for a reason, kids!**

**Book 1: Mirrors - Embry/OC (Ariana). [COMPLETE]**

**Book .5: Break You Hard - Kim/Jared. [COMPLETE]**

**Book 2: 2 is Better - Seth/OC (Nikita) [Almost Complete]**

**Book 3: Not in Love - Collin/OC (Danielle) [Almost Complete]**

**Book 4: Activate My Heart - Paul/Rachel [You guys are gonna love it]**

* * *

I absolutely hated my job and it was not fair. I had gone to college, I had escaped the Rez life, I graduated Suma Cum Lade for Taha Aki's sake. And I was stuck making copies and coffee at a dingy, little law firm for minimum wage and taking law school classes at night. This combination left me with very little money, a roommate who thought she could see the future, ramen noodles for almost every meal, no wifi, and a miserable experience all around.

"Rachel, I can tell you put sugar in here instead of Splenda." One of the paralegals, Lara Jean, says, smiling sweetly at me. "Can you remake it?"

"Of course." I smile, taking the coffee that I_ know_ I had put Splenda in and heading back towards the kitchen area. I was supposed to be doing something worthwhile and making a difference. Not making coffee for stuck up lawyers who lost more cases than they won. I honestly questioned how some of the individuals in this office had passed the bar exam because sometimes I felt that I, a first year law student, knew more then them. I put a new k-cup in the Keurig and let the coffee brew into a fresh cup.

Not for the first time, I wondered where I had went wrong. I was twenty-two years old and I felt like I had nothing to show for it except a rolled up piece of paper from the University of Washington and a majorly old Buick I had saved up for by waiting tables. And, not for the first time, I wanted to cry. Whenever my dad or sister called, I always put on a show of how great it was living in Seattle and how wonderful my job and classes were. And they were always happy for me and told me how proud they were. If they ever saw my days, I knew they wouldn't be happy or proud of me at all…they'd pity me. Heck, I pity me and what I've become.

I carried the new cup of coffee, with Splenda, back to Lara Jean.

"Thanks, hun!" She smiles as if I were her niece who had knitted her a scarf she knew she would never wear. I turn to head back to my desk just as my boss comes out of his office.

"Mr. Geisness!" I call, rushing towards him. It was rare he emerged from his office before lunch and I knew I had to jump at the opportunity when it presented itself. "I have a huge test in torts tonight. Is there anyway I could leave an hour early?"

"Torts? I didn't know you were in law school, Rachel!" He exclaims. I smile my best fake smile, knowing we had this conversation at least once a week. But at least he had remembered my name today.

"Yup, I'm an L1." I explain, like I always did.

"So, you want to be working with us some day!" He laughs as though it was a joke and I'd never be good enough to work in a firm as good as Geisness & Co., which specialized in wrongful death and work related accidents.

"That's the plan." I shrug, knowing there was no way in hell I would ever work at this law firm even if it was my only option.

"Tell you what, I need you to alphabetize all these files and pack them into these boxes so they can go down to storage — you know how we're moving towards a paper-free workplace — and then you can go." He smiles warmly, handing me a cardboard box filled with papers he had carried out of the office.

"Perfect." I answer, deciding it would only take me an hour and I would be out of here even earlier than I thought with even more time to study for my exam.

"The rest of the boxes are in my office, you can get those though, right?" He asks before walking away, without even waiting for my answer. I hold back a groan as I peer into his office to see at least fifteen other boxes similar to this one stacked against the wall.

I hate my job.

* * *

I do the same thing over and over again, every day. It was the worst routine. I sigh down at my torts test. It is the following week and we have just gotten them back. My best friend and study buddy, Katy, leans over me.

"Hey! You got a B, that's really good!" She congratulates. I knew that was a good grade and from the looks of a lot of my classmates, one of the better grades. I just knew I could have gotten an A. I ended up having to stay at work later than normal to finish alphabetizing the client records, even though I worked through lunch. I had left the office, hungry, and rushed to class. If I had just had an hour to look over the material I could have gotten a better grade. I knew it.

"Yeah…thanks." I sigh.

"Wanna go out for drinks after this?" She whispers.

"I wish. I have to be at work early tomorrow or I would say yes in a heartbeat." I admit, knowing what is coming.

"What!" She yells a little too loudly, causing a few students to turn and stare at us and our professor to give us a disapproving look. "It's Saturday tomorrow." She whispers, it's your day off. Your boss already made you come in last Sunday which was wrong and now he wants you in again and_ early_. That's not fair, Rachel! You need to quit that job!"

"I don't have a choice, Katy. It looks good on a resume and I need the money to pay rent. You know how weird CeCe is about rent."

"For the last time, you know you can move in with Jeff and me, we have that extra bedroom. And I promise to never try to read your palm." She sighs. I give up trying to take notes and resort to doodles in my notebook.

"I know…I'm not moving in to your place though. This is yours and Jeff's first place and you shouldn't have a permanent third wheel, I third wheel enough as it is." I remind her. Katy asked me to move into her place any time I mentioned my crazy roommate, crappy apartment, or really anything that she could relate back to her nice apartment downtown. It wasn't that I thought I'd have a problem living with Katy or Jeff. They were both great friends and great for each other. They were just at different points in their lives than me. Jeff was a few years older than us and had a steady corporate job. They talked about marriage and kids and buying a house with a white picket fence outside of the city. I on the other hand had been responding to booty calls from the same guy for the past two years and had bought new underwear last week just so I didn't have to wash the ones I already had.

"Well, you know the offer always stands…" She reminds me, like always. "At least finals are coming up and you'll have the summer off. Maybe you can grow some balls and quit your job, meet a cute guy, move out of CeCe's house of horrors, and become a real adult." She bats her lashes at me. I kick her in the shin under the desk. "Ouch!" She yelps. "I was just trying to be optimistic."

"Yeah, well being optimistic makes me sad." I snap.

"Man, do I pity the guy who has to put up with you." She drawls. I send her a scowl. "Kidding, kidding!" She promises. "Now pay attention, this is going to be on the final and I don't feel like having to teach it to you next week."

* * *

I had five vacation days every year. If I was a normal person with a normal boss who was a nice person, I would take these days during the summer and go visit my family in La Push or maybe fly to Hawaii and see my sister. Unfortunately, because my boss was an absolute asshole, I was forced to take my vacation days during finals week so that I wouldn't fail out of law school.

I spent the week alternating between studying in my apartment, studying with Katy at the library, studying at the local Starbucks, and dodging my roommate, CeCe. Her name wasn't _actually _CeCe. It was _Prophecy_…or so she claimed. Unfortunately, Katy and I couldn't talk about her and call her Prophecy without laughing so we had taken to calling her CeCe. It was also better to say her name was CeCe whenever anyone asked me anything about my living situation. I had learned that when you told people you lived with a fortune teller named Prophecy, they often thought _you_ were the crazy one, not _her._

Prophecy was twenty-three years old and claimed she could see the future. She hadn't gone to college as far as I knew and I wasn't even sure if she graduated from high school but she was always making hushed phone calls to "clients" or had odd looking individuals entering our apartment at all hours to come get their fortunes read. I couldn't even complain though. I was the one who had responded to a roommate ad on Craigslist. I got what I deserved.

It is 1:00 am and my eyes burn as I continue to look over my criminal law notes. My phone buzzes.

_*Wnt 2 cum ova? ;)*_

I roll my eyes at the text from my aforementioned booty call and not-boyfriend, Brad.

_*Can't, studying.*_

_*Will mak it worth ur while ;)*_

He responds only seconds later. How did I end up hooking up with someone who couldn't even spell basic words correctly.

_*It's finals week. I can't.*_

_*Fine. I'll call sum1 else.*_

There was no doubt in my mind that he would. We had never been exclusive. When we were both seniors in college we had gone out together, usually with mutual friends, to bars and parties but we had only ever been hook up buddies. This relationship continued as he had gotten a job in the city at some sales company while I had stayed in Seattle to do the joyous job I was doing now. The only times I saw him now was late at night (or very early in the morning) and it wasn't even enjoyable anymore. My phone buzzes again. I consider throwing it across the room but then realized it is Katy, not Brad.

_*Please tell me you feel like your mind is goo?*_

I roll my eyes. Katy was honestly my best friend and one of the only ones I had left in the city. A majority of my close friends during college had moved away, either back home to their families or to new cities with exciting job opportunities. We still talked, but not as much as we should…and nowhere near as much as I talked to Katy.

_*No. It's just your brain, mine is perfectly intact and filled with the knowledge of criminal law.*_

_*ha. ha.*_

_*Kidding, I'm thinking of calling it a night and just picking up in the morning. Meet at library at 8? Stop at Starbucks first?*_

_*Great idea! Say hi to Prophecy for me!*_

* * *

I was officially done with my first year of law school. I had excellent grades (two A's, a B+, and a B) and I was ready for some relaxing time. Relaxing time for me meant I could go home after working a twelve hour day and drink a glass of wine instead of rushing to class for three hours. It really was a relaxing time for me. And that was what I thought as I lounged on the bar stool in Katy and Jeff's apartment while drinking a margarita and eating quesadillas.

"Happy Cinco de Mayo and happy end of finals!" Katy toasts holding up her own glass.

"I can drink to that." I agree, slurping in some of the tequila and simple syrup combination.

"Any big plans for the summer, Rach?" Jeff asks, reaching across the counter for another triangle of quesadilla.

"Oh, you know, just spending my days at Geisness & Co and crying myself to sleep at night!" I say with as much fake enthusiasm as I can muster.

"Oh my _gawd_, please quit that job, Rachel! I don't care how good it looks on your resume. You could make more and be happier working as a waitress at one of those fancy waterfront restaurants!" Katy whines before slurping up another sip of her margarita.

"I'm not quitting, Katy. I don't care how often you say it." I promise, stirring my drink around the rim and then licking the salt that is left on my finger.

"Just think about it." She says slowly. "You know you always have a place here." I ignore her and reach for another quesadilla.

* * *

A few hours, a few margaritas, and a few drunk texts later, I had left Jeff and Katy's apartment with the promise of an Uber waiting outside to bring me home. Instead I end up at Brad's and in his bed.

Sex with Brad had never been _great_ per say. It had always been _fine_ which was okay but didn't leave me wanting more or wanting to come back to his place again. That reason alone left me wondering why I did. He wasn't even particularly nice to me or anything. Don't get me wrong, he was a nice enough guy and he never was rude to me or hurt me in anyway, but he wasn't a guy I could ever imagine dating or being with long term. That was probably a good thing though because I'm not sure if I was the type of girl he could see himself being with.

I think I constantly went back to him because I was lonely. And being the slightly tipsy person I was, I could admit that. It was lonely in Seattle. During college, I had loved every moment of my time in the city with my large group of friends but now I didn't have that. I had Katy…and Jeff by extension but that was it. I wasn't close with anyone else in my law classes and I certainly didn't have any friends at work. My best friend in high school, Laura, had gotten a job at Amazon after college and had made new friends. I rarely saw her anymore. And Prophecy was absolutely psychotic and seemed to only speak to me in code. I only saw my family at Christmas because I couldn't afford the time off and the four hour drive to my home town was too long to make for an afternoon visit.

Brad gave me something to do — _literally —_ that wasn't work or home. He gave me another person to have a real connection with, even if it was purely physical. I come back to reality just as Brad finishes with a low moan and I realize I had completely zoned out during sex.

_What kind of person does that!?_ I think horrified, but it was not like he had noticed. He rolls off of me and peels off the condom, chucking it in the trash next to his bed.

"I'm so glad you texted." He sighs, propping himself up.

"Yeah?" I ask, wondering if this was where he would profess his undying love for me and claim he needed me in his life to be happy.

"Yeah, finals week sucks. You know my neighbor, Tiffany? Her tits are _way_ smaller than yours." He admits and I wholeheartedly believe he thinks he is giving me a compliment. In his mind he is telling me that I am a better fuck than his backup girl, Tiffany-The-B-Cup. On some level I am relieved to know I am his first choice since he is my only choice, but on another level I hate myself for being in a relationship like this.

"You're an ass." I mutter, getting up and gathering my clothes as I go. This is not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life. I thought I would be living in a cool apartment with my best friends or with my serious boyfriend. I thought I'd be working at a great and rewarding job while completing law school and I thought I'd be anywhere else but drunk on Cinco de Mayo and zoning out during sex.

"What?" He asks, sitting up and looking honestly perplexed by the situation. I slip my thong on and put the clasps correctly on my bra. I had worn matching undergarments today since I knew I would probably end up at Brad's. He did not deserve matching underwear and bra combinations! Jeff deserved this! Well…not from _me_…from _Katy._ Brad didn't deserve it from me or Tiffany or anyone else he was fucking around with and it was my fault for putting in the effort.

"Nothing." I sigh. "I need to go. I have work tomorrow."

"Whatever." He sighs, slipping on his boxers. "But you should come over tomorrow night…ya know…make up for the last week we've had off." He winks and I remember why I always come back to Brad. He is so damn charming. While we aren't each other's happily ever afters, he is a charming guy who isn't used to being told no. And I could do a lot worse for a fuck buddy.

"Sure." I agree, pulling my dress over my head that is a bit too summery for the weather outside. I gather my shoes, wallet, keys, and phone; opening my Uber app to request a ride. "See ya!" I call leaving his bedroom and heading towards the front door. I send a quick wave to his roommate, Robert, who I had rarely spoken with and slip out into the hallway. Just as I reach the bottom of the stairs and finish pulling on my uncomfortable heels, my phone dings to let me know my ride is here.

* * *

The next morning I arrive to work nice and early, knowing I'd have a lot of busy work that the lawyers, paralegals, and assistants would have put off doing this past week while I was busy studying for finals. I send a smile to one of the assistant paralegals, Jan, who is getting her mail and memos from the front receptionist area. She quickly avoids my eyes and hurries away, back to her desk. No one is ever overly friendly here, but they are usually more friendlier than that.

"Rachel!" My boss, Mr. Geisness, calls from his office. I take my time walking in, knowing he probably has more work than I ever want to do waiting for me. "Sit down, sit down." He encourages. My heart pounds. In the past year I have worked here, I haven't sat in front of his desk since my interview.

"Do you have a project for me to work on Mr. Geisness?" I ask cautiously. He ignores my question.

"You have been doing an excellent job here, Rachel." He compliments.

"Um, thanks." My palms are hot and sweaty.

"Unfortunately, the company has to cut back on the paid interns. We've found a nearby school who will have students work for free in exchange for class credit so we are going to have to let you go." He explains. "But if you ever need help with a wrongful death lawsuit or an injury in a future workplace you'll know you always have a family here to help you out."

"O-okay." I stutter, unsure of what to say.

I had just lost my job. Rent was due on Tuesday. I do not have a job. I have no income and I paid for two Uber rides last night. Oh my god, _I do not have a job_. Mr. Geisness is staring at me and, somehow my brain tells my legs to move and stand up and walk out of the office, all the way back to my car that I had already put two dollars in the parking meter to pay for the space.

_I. Do. Not. Have. A. Job._

I drive home on autopilot and don't even realize I'm there until I am simultaneously shutting the front door and tugging my heels off.

"Rachel?" A voice calls from around the corner. I walk through the entryway and into the meditation room. Really it was just a living room where any normal person would have a couch and television combo…maybe a coffee table or lamp, but Prophecy had decorated it with draping tapestries, huge floor pillows, candles, and crystals to help 'cleanse your aura'.

"I lost my job." I speak for the first time, the words sounding funny in my mouth. She sighs and shakes her head.

"I know." Prophecy insists. "I told you a few days ago." She rolls her eyes towards a woman sitting next to her with dreadlocks and more piercings than I have ever seen. She is looking at a stack of cards and not paying either of us any attention.

"What?" I ask.

"I told you that there would be a change in your financial standing as well as a major career change. Prophecy sees all." She reminds me pointedly. I vaguely remember her interrupting my studying for torts last week to tell me just that. I had mostly ignored her ramblings and had decided that maybe I would win the lottery or be promoted at work. I hadn't even considered I would lose my job. She lifts a grouping of what looks like weeds to me and shakes them in my direction. "Can you please leave us alone? We are trying to cleanse ourselves and your aura is absolutely _terrible_ right now."

_What. The. Fuck._

I storm out of the meditation room and into my tiny closet of a bedroom. I had lived here for almost a year and yet I had even less items here than in my dorm room. Prophecy already had a bed and set of drawers in the room from her last roommate who had apparently gone on a sabbatical and decided she didn't need the furniture. I had moved my bedding from my dorm in and then had brought the clothing with me that I felt like I had forever. I knew for a fact that some of the pieces had been shared ones from Rebecca and I in high school. I hadn't bothered to decorate my room like I had always done when living on campus because I honestly had never felt like this stupid apartment was home.

_I do not have a job._ I do not have any income. I have a roommate named Prophecy and was kicked out of a mediation room I pay for half of. My boss called me into work and fired me but promised if I ever died while working at my next job that he would take my case.

_What. The. Fuck. _

In a daze I slowly pull out my large suitcase that had been in my family since before I was born and fill it with as many clothes as I can. Then I pull out my large duffle bag and do the same with my toiletries, makeup, and shoes. I wasn't fully sure I knew what I was doing but I had packed most of my items and was dragging my things out of the room before I had completely decided where I was going.

"I'm going home for a couple of days." I announce to Prophecy and her friend who are now both drinking cups of tea and burning some herb in a metal tray in front of them. I don't know if I expected Prophecy to jump up and beg me to stay or what but I had expected more than a slight humming sound from her. "Whatever." I mutter, hauling my duffle over my shoulder and propping my suitcase up to wheel it out the door.

"You're going to find love!" Prophecy's friend whose name I can't remember calls behind me, just before I shut the door.

_Bull. Shit._

* * *

**A/N: Are you guys excited to meet Paul next chapter?**


	2. Home

The first hour of my drive to La Push consists of me sitting in silence. Complete and utter silence. No radio. No phone. Me simply gripping the steering wheel enough for me to feel pain in my hands and wrists but not enough for me to loosen my grip.

Hour two I spend sobbing uncontrollably.

During hour three I stop at a gas station to fill my car up and clean my face which is red and puffy from crying. After getting back in the car I call Jacob who doesn't answer and then my father who doesn't answer and then Sue Clearwater who tells me my father is in the diner and I can talk to him if I'd like. I decline and tell her to let him know I am on my way home before hanging up.

Right at the beginning of hour four I pull off the highway and onto the main road that leads to downtown La Push. There isn't much of a downtown, nothing like the downtown of a big city like Seattle, but I do feel a little better being on the familiar road. Before long I am pulling into the driveway in front of my house. My dad must have be waiting for me because he immediately opens the door and rolls out, heading towards me.

"Rachel!" He calls, sounding more happy to see me than anyone ever has. "I thought you had work? What are you doing here?"

"They offered me a few more vacation days at work, I decided I'd come see you and Jake." I lie. The words are out of my mouth before I can even consider telling him the truth.

"Well that is great. I'm so happy to have you here."

"I'm so happy to be here."

I'm not sure if that is a lie or not.

* * *

Somehow I had ended up at the one little bar that La Push had.

I just wanted to cry.

I was in middle of nowhere La Push and surrounded by a bunch of drunk old men. I had been drinking two-dollar brew for the last hour. It tasted disgusting but it was cheap and, like I kept reminding myself, I had no income. My phone buzzes.

_*Where r u?*_

It is Brad. I roll my eyes.

_*Not coming*_

My phone starts ringing only seconds later.

"Brad!" I sing into the phone.

"Rach?" He asks. "Are you drunk?"

"Of course!" I giggle, taking another swig of my beer.

"Where are you? I'll come get you." He says, sounding actually concerned.

"I think it would be quite a long drive for you to get me. I'm basically in a different time zone." I smirk at my joke. La Push was almost four hours away but it felt like another world compared to Seattle.

"What happened?" He asks quickly, "Are you hurt?"

"Nah, I've just decided to travel the world and start a company where I save the endangered wolves of the northern peninsula!" At this idea I fling my arms up and almost knock myself over. Luckily, a pair of strong arms catch me before I topple off the bar stool. My phone skids across the ground and under one of the stools in front of the bar.

"Are you okay?" A gruff voice whispers in my ear. I shiver and turn in the stool, taking in the mystery man's muscular arms and tanned skin. Unable to help myself I reached up and run a hand over his bicep.

"You are so hot."

"Yeah, I know, I have a higher body temp than—"

"No. Like you are the sexist guy I have seen all night, which isn't saying much since I think you're the only one younger than fifty here but take me back to your place." I look up into his eyes and watch as his pupils dilate. "Please." I add as an afterthought.

"Fuck." He mutters, continuing to stare at me.

"My thoughts exactly." I agree. He seems to snap out of his trance and a slow smirk spreads over his face.

"How have I possibly missed you in this little town?" He asks, his breath fanning over my face. This mysterious man is like a drug I didn't realize I was addicted to.

"Maybe you haven't been looking hard enough." I smirk, continuing to stroke his biceps with just the tips of my fingers. He shudders under my touch causing my smile to grow.

"Let's go." He finally half growls out, pulling me off the chair. I leave my half abandoned drink, scoop up my phone that's sitting on the ground a few feet away, and allow him to intertwine our fingers together and pull me outside. We've only made it a couple of feet out the door when he pushes me up against the front wall of the bar. "What's your name?" He asks, running his hands up and down my sides. I can feel my panties getting wet.

"Rachel." I breathe.

"Rachel." He repeats.

"Dammit, if you don't kiss me I think I might explode." I snap, right before his mouth slams into mine. I'm not sure I have ever been so excited for a kiss. I'd had plenty of kisses in my lifetime but had felt they were often lacking something. If my other kisses had been lacking something, this kiss certainly had it. I moan into his mouth as his hands slip under my shirt to trace shapes on my stomach.

"Your place or mine, _Rachel_?" He whispers, huskily and I swear the sound of his voice is like everything I ever wanted and didn't know I needed.

"Yours." I moan. "Definitely yours."

If I had showed up at my place with him, chances are he would realize who my father was and walk away or laugh when I showed him the dingy couch I would be sleeping on while I was here. Last year, my father had gotten rid of the two twin beds that Rebecca and I had in our room when we were in high school and finally gave Jake the bigger room instead of the closet he had lived in his whole life. Bigger room made it sound like it was large. In reality, it was just big enough to fit two twin beds with a small shared bureau between them. It was small but now I didn't even have that. Instead I was on the couch that had been in our living room since before I was born and where Jake and his smelly friends sat to play xbox.

"My roommate is probably here but I'm going to ask him to leave so we can have the place to ourselves." He assures me as he guides his truck into the dirt driveway in front of a house that doesn't look much different than mine.

"I don't care if he stays." I shrug, opening the door to the truck and hopping down.

"Yes, but he might." He smirks at me as if there is a joke that I'm not in on.

"Whatever you say." I reply, stumbling slightly up the steps. He wraps an arm around me to steady me and brushes his lips against my ear, making me shiver. He leads me into his one story house and immediately past the kitchen and into, what I assume, is his bedroom.

"You wait right here and I'll be right back." He insists, his eyes running over me once more, before shutting the door. "Jared!" I hear him call. I start pulling off my clothes as I walked around the room, wondering how long it would take him to kick _Jared_ out of his own home. I realize with a sharp jolt that I didn't even know this guy's name. I begged a guy to sleep with me, was now at his house, and didn't have any clue was his name was.

Katy would be so mad at me.

I hadn't even called or texted Katy to let her know what had happened or that I had left the city. That was on tomorrows to do list. Tonight there was only one thing, or person, I wanted to do. After another minute of hushed arguing in the living room, the front door opens and closes, most likely with Jared leaving and the door to the bedroom opens.

"Holy fuck." The mystery man sucks in a breath. I turn away from the window I had been looking out and walk over to the unmade bed, climbing on top of it. In the time it has taken him to kick his roommate out, I have gotten completely undressed leaving a trail of my clothes around his room. "You are beautiful."

"You don't need to woo me, I'm already going to sleep with you." I promise leaning back on the pillows. He smirks and pulls his shirt over his head. I didn't think he could be any more beautiful but looking at his perfectly toned body and rock hard abs I melt even more.

"I wasn't wooing you, I was stating a fact." He grins, undoing his pants and pulling them off along with his boxers. He stalks towards me and the bed.

"This whole sexy strip scene here is great but I don't need that I literally just want you inside of me. Right now. So if you could hurry up that would be great." I encourage, feeling myself getting even wetter just looking at him. I'm honestly not sure if he is going to fit inside of me but I am definitely going to try. He chuckles and opens his night stand drawer and pulls out a condom, before climbing on top of the bed and on top of me.

"Whatever you want." He grins, staring down at me. I sigh in relief as his lips finally touch to mine and his skin finally presses against me. I feel tingles over everywhere he touches and gasp with excitement as his fingers find my very wet center, playing with me.

"You know what?" I sigh breathily a few seconds later, pushing on his shoulder. "I'm not interested in this."

"What?" He gasps, losing that confidence that had surrounded him since he caught me on the bar stool. "Shit, I wasn't trying to make you do anything you didn't want to do, Rachel. I thought you—" He rolls away from me to leans on the pillows to my right.

"No, no." I quickly assure him, horrified. "I want to do _this_. I just don't need any foreplay." Having sex with this man was the only thing I wanted in my life right now. My body was already vibrating with anticipation. I had never been this worked up about sex with Brad but then again, Brad had never made me feel like this before. I swing a leg over his lap and straddle him. "I don't need you to finger me or play around. I want your rock hard cock inside of me and I want it now." His eyes are wide as I grab the abandoned condom on the bed, bite the wrapper with my teeth and open it. I roll it onto him and immediately push him into me.

"Fuck." We both groan. I start off riding him slowly but quickly speed up when I realize we both want to go harder and faster.

"I'm not going to last long." He warns, clenching his teeth.

"Me either." I sigh, leaning forward and locking my mouth with his. He kisses me back passionately and trails his hands down my back finally resting on my ass. All it takes is one firm squeeze of my ass on his part and I am clenching and tumbling over the edge, moaning louder than I ever had before. It is only moments later that I feel him finish. Even through the condom I can feel his heat and I wonder what it would feel like to have sex without a condom, with him. I roll off of him and sigh in complete relief. "I want you to know that this was the best part of my day."

"Yeah." He breathes deeply. "Definitely a highlight of mine." He smiles over at me and for a second I wonder what it would feel like to wake up to that everyday. Not necessarily him specifically, but to wake up to _someone_. Someone who loved you and wanted to be with you and was happy to see you. Someone who smiled at you like you were great.

"I should get going." I finally say, after feeling like I've stared at him a few seconds too long. I get off the bed, still feeling weak in the knees and gather my thong, sliding it on. My underwear and bra had not been matching today. I wasn't sure why this morning me had thought I was doing myself a favor.

"Woah, hold on." He rushes, following me out of the bed. "Stay for a while longer. I'll get us a drink." He throws away the used condom and grabs a few tissues to clean himself up.

"Oh you don't have to do that." I rush, not even sure why he is offering. It wasn't like I had a lot of one night stands, really just with Brad, but I had never hung around after we'd had sex.

"I want you to stay, Rachel." I stare into his eyes feeling wet all over again. He pulls back on his boxers and picks up his shirt. "Here you can wear this."

"And what makes you think I want to wear your smelly shirt?" I ask. "I don't even know your name."

"Well girls usually love that shit but feel free to put your jeans and tight top back on, this just might be more comfortable." He taunts, smirking at my weak objection. "And my name is Paul. I told you at the bar but I think you were busy trying to figure out if you could get into my pants there or if you had to come all the way back here." He walks out of the room leaving me standing there, now holding the shirt.

"Paul." I try the name out on my tongue, pulling the shirt over my head and following after him.

"Yes?" He calls opening the fridge.

"Just deciding if I like it is all." I shrug.

"I don't have any wine or any of those girly drinks, sorry."

"Oh please, I'll have a beer."

"My kind of girl." He praises pulling two out of the fridge and using the counter to crack the bottle cap off. My phone starts ringing from the place I had abandoned it on the counter when we had first walked in. "Yeah, that things been ringing since we go here. Somewhere else you're supposed to be?" He asks. I drag the phone over to where I am leaning against the counter.

"Ugh, Brad." I sigh.

"Boyfriend?" He asks, stiffly.

"God no." I assure him. "More of a friend…with benefits." He snatches up the phone before I can stop him.

"Rachel's cell phone, Paul speaking." He answers, inching closer to me and wrapping his arm tightly around my waist. "Rachel's right here but she's a little busy so she's not going to be able to answer your booty call tonight. Please leave us alone." He hangs up, placing the phone back on the counter.

"You shouldn't have done that." I chide, running my free hand over his chest and taking another swig of my beer.

"Why? Were you planning on going over there right now?" He asks, pulling me a little closer and nuzzling his face into my neck.

"I don't even have the option. He's in Seattle." I explain.

"Seattle? That's a very long distance booty call."

"Well, from here." I explain. "But that's where I live. I'm just here visiting family."

"Who is your family? I probably know them." He pulls back a little, staring into my eyes.

"You probably do which is why I am not telling you."

"That's fine, I'll figure it out."

"Your confidence is inspiring. It really is." I assure him.

"Well how's this for confidence." He replies. "I want you in my bed tonight, all night. I don't want you leaving my sight until you have to." He finishes his beer and wraps his other arm around me as well. "Do you think that can be arranged?"

"Oh I definitely think that could be arranged." I respond, finishing my own beer. "But it will cost you another drink and a round two."

"I can grant both of those requests."

* * *

**A/N: Hope you guys are enjoying! If you like, please review! :)**


	3. Overwhelmed

My head is pounding when I wake up and I'm not even surprised. This is a common occurrence for me. I am a single twenty-two year old and constantly making bad choices. But this one felt like a pretty good choice. Paul is still passed out, sprawled on his back and looking like America's sexiest man alive. I was by no means a prude but I had never actually stayed over at a guys place after a one night stand. I'd only had one serious boyfriend in college and even that only lasted six months. I had stayed in his dorm room overnight a few times in his crappy twin bed but usually I left after having sex with a guy. Paul had been very adamant that I stay the night and who was I to say no when he had a real bed and a huge penis.

I carefully creep out of the bed and gather my clothing from where I had dropped it last night. After silently getting dressed and leaving his soft shirt folded on his dresser, I decide to make a run for it. I'm not good with confrontation or small talk or awkward situations and I decide that if I stay I may be forced to deal with all three.

"Trying to escape?" A voice asks from the kitchen. I practically jump a mile.

"Jared?" I gasp, recognizing the guy leaning against the kitchen counter. "Jared Thail?"

"Oh shit, _Rachel_?" Jared stares back at me. "_You're_ Paul's mystery girl. Damn, Jake's going to kill you…well him. He's actually going to kill him. Or at least castrate him. Poor guy."

"Oh fuck. Paul _Lahote_." I realize, figuring out exactly who I had been with all night. "In my defense I was drunk and you guys also grew up. You look nothing like the little dorks you were when I left here. Holy shit I just had sex with one of my little brother's friends. _Three times!_ I think I'm going to vom."

"Woah, TMI, Rachel." Jared snickers. "But for real, can I watch Jake kill Paul."

"Jake's not going to find out." I insist. "This was a one time thing."

"Guarantee you'll be back here by tonight. And yeah, he will find out. He'll find out the moment you walk in the house."

"Are you trying to say I smell like Paul because Jake barely finished high school, he doesn't have a super sniffer." I snap, feeling more irritated by the situation. "And also I have a lot of self control, thank you very much." I make my way towards the front door, pulling on my heels as I go and grabbing my phone from the counter.

"You're not going to wait for Paul to share the good news of your last name?" Jared asks.

"No." I respond flatly. "I'm leaving because that's what you do after a one night stand."

"Fine." Jared rolls his eyes. "I'll drive you home."

"No, no." I hold up my hands in defiance. "I earned this walk of shame fair and square and I intend to make it, heels and all."

"I'm not going to let you walk back in heels, on a dirt road, looking like you're a hooker." Jared insists, grabbing his keys. "No offense."

"None taken at all. That was actually the look I was going for yesterday. I hoped someone would think I was a real hooker and buy me a drink trying to get me to come home with them. Didn't work, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do." I shrug. "Also I am certain I am going to vomit and I would like to do that privately off your property in a nice shrub or tree of my choosing, so I will be walking but I sincerely appreciate the chivalry especially since the only thing I have done for you is get you sexiled."

He follows me out the door anyway and gets in the car as I start in the opposite direction, towards my house. My heels dig into the dirt as I walk along.

"Come on, Rachel, get in the car." Jared sighs, driving alongside me.

"Honestly, I'm good." I promise. "It is so nice outside, like this is the nicest walk of shame I have ever been on. Usually my walk of shames are in the middle of the night or so early that it's still dark out but I understand why so many have their's when it's light out. The scenery is much nicer."

"Paul is going to have his hands full with you but you're pretty cool Rachel, I'm glad your here." He laughs.

"That is so nice of you to say but I don't know why you keep implying that Paul and I will become a regular thing." Jared opens his mouth to respond. "Hold that thought." I prompt before vomiting up the copious amount of liquor that had been in my system last night into a clump of bushes. "Wow, I feel so much better, maybe I will take that ride. I feel like I've seen enough scenery to experience this walk of shame."

"Rachel, you literally made it twenty feet from the door." He informs me as I walk around the front of the truck to get into the passenger side. I glance back towards the house. I felt like I'd walked a mile but in reality I could still see the house quite clearly and Jared had barely pulled out of the driveway.

"Jared. I have a job proposition for you." I start as I pull the door shut behind me. "We need to bring Uber to La Push and I would like you to be Uber driver Jared. You can drive me to and from all of my sexual encounters and you can also drive others places they need to go. However, I would like to have priority to everyone else."

"Wow, that is super tempting, let me think about it." He laughs as he pulls into my driveway.

"I definitely enjoyed my drive of shame better than my walk of shame." I sigh. "Thank you. And if you could tell Paul no hard feelings or anything. Like tell him his penis is beautiful but that I'm pretty sure I should never see him again. You can improvise if you'd like just something along those lines." I jump out of the truck and slam the door behind me.

"See you tonight!" He calls but I just flip him off.

* * *

I creep into the house as quietly as I can manage.

"Rachel!" My dad calls, coming around the corner into the living room area. "Do you think you're still in high school?"

"Some days I do still feel like a sixteen year old, thank you for asking." I respond with false cheeriness.

"Rachel, if you're going to get drunk and stay out all night don't you think you can do that in Seattle?" He asks.

"I consider myself someone who can get drunk and stay out all night in any city." I smile. He rolls his eyes. "Is Jake here?" I ask wondering if he really would be able to smell who I had been with last night.

"No…he's working, why?" He asks, sounding a bit suspicious.

"No reason! I'm going to go shower! Love you, Daddy!" I call, rushing past him and into the bathroom. I needed to get my shit together. I couldn't believe it had only been twenty-four hours since I got fired. I felt like it had been a lifetime. It also felt like it had been a lifetime since I showered when in reality that had only been twenty-four hours as well. I strip off my clothes and step into the hot shower.

_Why did I leave Paul's?_

Laying next to him in bed was where I wanted to be. I wanted to be memorizing his face and cuddled up against his side where I seemed to fit perfectly. I had never felt that way about anyone before and I had ruined it by making it a one night stand. It was probably for the best anyway. Beautiful men like Paul Lahote didn't go for girls like me. I wasn't ugly at all, I knew I was pretty, I had been told I was my entire life, but I wasn't runway skinny and someone who looked perfect all the time. I had also been told my attitude got in the way of guys liking me. That was fine. My attitude often got in the way of _me_ liking _them_.

I shampoo and condition my hair but don't feel like I can get out of the shower. I reach for my phone outside the shower on the counter. I sit down at the other end of the shower, letting the water only hit my feet. Katy had called me five times since yesterday afternoon and I had numerous texts from her and Jeff. I take a deep breath and press the call button. She picks up on the second ring.

"Rach? Oh my god." She practically yells into the phone. "How dare you not talk to me for twenty-four hours. Where are you? Brad called me last night saying he was worried about you and—"

"I lost my job." I start crying, everything hitting me all at once.

"WHAT?" She shrieks.

"They found someone to hire who would do my job for free." I try my best to control my sobs. "I was fired when I walked into work yesterday. What am I going to do, Katy?"

"I'm getting dressed right now, I'm coming to get you and then we are going to that breakfast place with all you can eat pancakes." I can hear fumbling on her end of the phone.

"Katy, I'm not in Seattle, I went home." I inform her.

"Home? Like Middle-of-Nowhere, Washington?" She gasps.

"Yeah, La Push." I sigh. "I'm sitting on the ground in my shower, I physically don't know what I'm going to do next. Rent is due on Tuesday and I don't have income to pay it, I don't have a job at all, and my dad got rid of my bed here."

"Okay, okay." Katy soothes and I can hear the gears in her head turning as she plans my next move. Katy had always been the mother in our group during college. I was the girl vomiting next to a Chinese restaurant and she was the one telling the officers it was just food poisoning not three scorpion bowls. "Jeff and I are going to your place right now. We are getting the rest of your things and telling CeCe you won't be back to that residence. I'll tell her you feel there are bad omens or some shit. You will be staying at our place and for real this time you're not objecting. You are allowed to move out once you have a job, until then we will be having a permeant slumber party. You stay in Middle-of-Nowhere, Washington for another day or two until you've got that out of your system then we will bring your resume everywhere. And we will drink a lot of chardonnay. Okay?"

"Okay." I respond, already feeling better now that there was a plan.

"Now get your ass out of the shower and get your shit together." She orders.

"Okay." I get up and turn off the now cold water, careful not the get my phone wet. "I love you Katy."

"I love you too, Rach." She sighs. "You're going to be just fine. I'll call you later, kay?"

"Bye, Katy."

I get out of the shower and dry off before heading to Jacob's old room. That was where I had stashed my duffle bag and suitcase. I grab a matching thong and bra incase Jared's prediction is correct and I was going to end up at his and Paul's place later, a pair of leggings and a short sleeve t-shirt. I get dressed and put on a pair of flip flops.

"Rachel!" Jake calls. I open the door to the 'bedroom' and walk down the hall into the kitchen. "Emily wants to know if you want to come to dinner."

"Would it kill you to come find me instead of yelling for me?" I ask. He stiffens as I walk past him towards the fridge. He then stalks towards me slowly. "What the fuck, Jake?" He leans in close and sniffs me.

"Did you have to sleep with the first person you found?" He growls, his hands shaking.

"How the hell did you know?" I gasp, genuinely shocked and wondering if Jared had called him. "And I'm an adult you psycho!"

"But _Paul_, are you fucking kidding me?" He yells, pushing past the table and pulling open the back door with such force that the frame splinters.

"Wait, Jake, where are you going?" I ask, rushing after him. _"Don't touch him, Jake!"_ I pick up my pace to keep up with him. He starts cutting through the woods expertly in the direction of what I assume is Paul's house. "JACOB!" I call, following him. He's moving at a relatively slow pace, stepping on small trees and pushing shrubs out of the way but I am half running, half stumbling to keep up with him. I've never seen Jake like this, he looks monstrous.

"PAUL!" Jake yells as he emerges from the trees a little ahead of me. I quickly stumble out after him as Jared and Paul come out through the back door.

"Listen, Jake—" Paul starts, coming down the back steps with his hands held up in surrender.

"Get away from him, he's psychotic!" I shriek running towards Paul. He pulls me into him for a hug which seems like the oddest thing to do when I am convinced my brother might kill him. I cling tightly to him as if that will make Jake go away.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me Paul, you fucking _imprinted_ on her? You couldn't just find some girl in Forks or something? It had to be my sister?" Jake roars at him. Paul shifts me so I am behind him.

"You know that's not how it works!" Paul snaps, vibrating slightly beneath my hands where they cling to his muscular back.

"Come on, let's go, please Paul, I don't want anyone to get hurt." I beg, trying to pull him back with no luck. "I'm not sure why he's acting this way, please let's go, please Paul."

"Jared." Paul says calmly and suddenly I am being pulled away from him and back towards the steps. "Come on, Jake, just get this over with."

In the blink of an eye a large wolf has replaced Jacob and in another blink one has replaced Paul. There is a shrill ringing in my ears as the wolves collide and it takes me a few seconds of them fighting to realize it is me, screaming louder than I ever have in my entire life. I can't take my eyes away from the dark silver and russet wolves. They snap back and forth at each other with the largest teeth I have ever seen. The russet wolf manages to get the silver one pinned on his back and I continue to scream in horror as the bigger wolf crushes the silver wolf's left side. At the same time the silver wolf starts to cry, my shriek turns into a sob. I drop to the ground, clutching my center. I can recognize Jared repeating my name over and over but it sounds like he's a lifetime away.

"Make it stop!" I sob.

"Jake! Jacob! Stop!" Jared screams. "You're hurting Rachel!"

From my place on the ground I can see two other wolves racing out of the trees and pushing the russet wolf away from the silver wolf. I can see Jared standing over the silver wolf. I get on my knees and start crawling towards them as the silver wolf melts back into a body I got to know very well last night.

"P-Paul." I sob, not even fully sure what's making me cry. All I know is that there's a sharp pain and ache that's seeming to come from my core. I stop right at his head. His eyes are shut and his teeth are clenched as if he's trying to control the pain he's obviously in.

"Paul, I know it hurts, but you need to absorb the pain, you're trying to push it off and it's going to Rachel. Suck the pain back in, Quil's getting Sam. We're going to set the bones, you're going to be fine." Jared encourages.

"Call 911, call an ambulance." I cry but the pain dulls in my center and I'm able to pull myself into a sitting position. "Paul?" I tentatively reach out a hand to rest a hand on his cheek. His face relaxes almost instantly but the slight shaking on his body doesn't slow.

"He's okay, Rachel, he can't talk right now because he's trying to control the pain so you don't feel anything but he's fine." Jared explains, crouching down next to me.

"Why would I feel his pain?" I ask, wiping at my face.

"Let's take care of him first and then we can explain everything, okay?" He says, I feel myself nodding my head.

"Hey, Rachel!" A voice calls, way too cheerful for the situation. "Probably should have had you sign a waiver before you slept with Paul, huh?" I recognize Embry immediately. He laughs as though there is something funny about this situation. A beautiful girl I don't recognize, walks close to him and looks to only be wearing a long t-shirt. She's scowling in the opposite direction of Paul and I. I follow her eyes and see Jacob arguing with Seth and another boy I don't recognize. The girl pulls off the shirt, revealing that she's completely naked underneath. She takes a few steps away from Embry and melts into another wolf. I watch as she runs over towards Jacob and bites down on his hand. Jake yelps in surprise. It's actually quite comical.

"Dammit, Ari, I get it. I won't attack the imprints." He sighs, seeming to calm down a little. He rubs between her ears and she licks the wound she caused before running back towards us. She turns back into a human in the blink of an eye and takes the shirt Embry holds out to her, again sliding it over her head. She lets him wrap an arm around her and nuzzle into her neck. It seems like a very intimate and animalistic thing to do. I focus back down at the man who I thought was just a one night stand.

"This is not how you be an alpha, Jacob!" A new voice calls. Sam Uley comes walking around from the front of the house, heading straight towards us.

"Fuck off!" Jake yells from the other side of the backyard but still seems calm as he shoves the boy I don't recognize and starts laughing. I don't find anything about any of this amusing. In fact, I think it is quite possible that I drank so much last night, that I am currently at Forks Hospital getting my stomach pumped and none of this is happening. That is the most plausible explanation.

"Hey, Rach, long time no see." Sam greets. Sam Uley had been apart of my friend group in high school, back when he had been dating Leah.

"Hey, asshole." I snap back.

"Still feeling the love towards me I see." He smiles and I roll my eyes. "Okay, Jared and Embry pick him up, bring him to the bed. Ariana, get Rachel. Keep her close but distract her if you can."

"Wait, what?" I ask as Jared and Embry lift Paul off the ground, leaving me sitting in the dirt.

"Come on!" The girl in the t-shirt pulls me up off the ground and loops her arm through mine. "Don't worry about it, Jake won't give you any more trouble and Sam's good at this. Collin and Brady got in a fight last week and Brady had a broken wrist. Sam set it for him and now you'd never know he broke it." She pulls me through the back door of the house.

"Wait, I'm sorry, _what_ exactly is Sam going to do?" I ask, finding my voice.

"Fix Paul. I'd say his left shoulder is dislocated, arm broken, and his femur looks to be snapped. Ouch. Not sure about his ribs." She explains. "But Sam can set the bones, he'll be fine by tomorrow.

"WHAT!" I shriek, pushing out of her grasp and rushing towards the bedroom where they have just lowered Paul onto the bed.

"Man this whole room reeks of you, Rach." Embry scrunches his nose.

"Okay, _first of all_ I have a very nice smell, I use one of those Victoria Secret Body sprays, I smell fucking fantastic and _second of all_, why has no one called a doctor?" I shove Sam as he reaches for Paul's left arm.

"Hey, I know what I'm doing." Sam defends.

"Like hell you do, you used to copy my answers in biology. You aren't qualified to do a damn thing." I snap.

"Ari." Sam says. The girl pulls me back towards her.

"Hey!" I struggle. "Let go."

"Turn away, you don't want to see this, cover your ears." She warns.

"Why would I—"

Paul's scream hurts my soul. She places her hands over my ears and turns my head away from the bed where Sam is standing over Paul, popping his bones back into place. I start to cry again. It is only about a minute until the screaming stops but it feels like an eternity.

"Come on, Rachel." Jared encourages, releasing me from Ari's grasp. "Can you just sit with him?" I nod my head, walking over to the bed and carefully climbing up to sit near his head. He already looks so much better if that's possible.

"I want you all to leave." I hiss.

"Okay, well I think we should talk—" Jared starts.

"Leave." I all but yell. "I don't want to see any of you right now and tell Jacob I don't ever want to see him again!" Jared and Embry both glance at Sam who nods his head. They all exit, Ari being the last.

"Nice to meet you!" She chirps before rushing out of the room after the boys.

"Rachel." Paul says softly but I don't answer. "Rachel." He repeats.

"I don't want to talk. I just want to sit here." I answer quietly.

"Okay, that's fine." He sighs.

We sit there in silence for hours. My phone which had been tucked into the waistband of my leggings rings five times. The first is Jake, the second it's Katy, then Jake again, and then the house phone twice after that. I don't pick up at all.

* * *

**A/N: Do you love them or do you love them?**


	4. Stay

"Rachel." Paul finally says. "I need to know you're alright. I know that was a lot to see and take in."

"You and my brother and all those other guys are fucking wolves Paul, how do you think I am?" I whisper.

"Okay, okay." He sighs, pushing off on his right arm and slowly working himself back so he can be propped on the pillows.

"Oh my god, Paul, stop! You're going to hurt yourself." I fumble unsure where to touch that won't hurt him more.

"I'm fine." He promises. "The bones have for the most part set and they'll be healed fully by tomorrow morning."

"I don't understand." I mutter. He pulls me against his right side and lets my head rest on his chest like I had slept last night. I was right, I fit perfectly.

"It's a wolf thing." He explains. "We have really accelerated healing and heightened senses. Does that make sense."

"I'm not dumb, Paul, I understand English." I snap, but cuddle closer into his side.

"That wasn't what I was implying, Rach, it's just a lot to take in and I don't think you fully understand what you've been thrown into." He explains

"Oh no, I understand completely." I assure him. "You guys are somehow apart of those legends my dad always talks about. You turn into fucking wolf people and apparently break each other's limbs because you believe it is fine."

"Yeah, we get into fights but it's really not a big deal. Jake was just asserting his dominance, we'll be fine next time we see each other." He promises me.

"I…I think it was a mistake that I went home with you last night." I admit. "I came to La Push because I was overwhelmed by my life in Seattle and needed a break, not to find new things to overwhelm me. I'll be going back to Seattle tomorrow and I'm going to try to forget any of this happened."

"If that's how you feel." Paul mutters, stiffening besides me. "I just want you to know that I don't think last night was a mistake, I think it was the best night of my life. And I'm sorry that you had to find out about everything that way, it wasn't anyone's intention."

"Do you think I can just lay here for a little while longer?" I finally ask, after a long period of silence.

"Of course." He sighs, placing a kiss on my forehead.

I'm not sure why it makes me sad to think of leaving tomorrow but it does. I don't even _know_ Paul. I know hardly anything about him so it doesn't make sense for me to be feeling the way I am. I feel like I just want to be in his presence for the rest of my life. It is more overwhelming than the fact that my brother and his friends are shape shifting wolves. It isn't long before Paul drifts asleep. I carefully peal myself away from him and head to the small bathroom attached to his room.

There is dirt smeared on my face and in my hair, along with all over my clothes. The fact that Paul had wanted me close at all is crazy. But then again, I know there is dirt all over him along with some dried blood. I strip off my clothes and wipe the dirt from my face. I run my fingers through my hair to try to shake out the dirt and give up, pulling it up in a messy bun, using the elastic I always keep on my wrist. I walk back into his room and start pulling open drawers in Paul's dresser until I find the t-shirts. I pick a soft black one and pull it over my head.

"Damn Dr. Sam and his no sex with a broken femur rule." Paul groans from the bed. I turn smiling.

"The fact that you guys have to have that rule says so much about you." I laugh. I head back into the bathroom and wet one of the hand towels before returning to the side of the bed. I wipe at the dirt and dried blood on Paul.

"You don't have to do that." Paul says.

"Do you want me to stay with you or not?" I ask.

"Stay, please."

"Then let's get the dirt off of you." I wipe carefully at the areas where I know he was hurt just hours before. "Does that hurt?"

"I'm fine, Rach, really." He explains. "I think my shoulder is already healed. My leg's still setting but I will be fine by tomorrow morning."

"I really don't understand how that happens." I mutter, dabbing at the dried blood on his leg where the skin is now fully heeled over the wound. I wouldn't have believed him if he had simply told me he had accelerated heeling but I saw how his femur bone had stuck out at an odd angle just hours before and now, it looked fine.

"It's a lot to take in." Paul says simply.

"Do you want to just lay here naked or do you want to try to put shorts on?" I ask.

"Well, I think it would make me feel a lot more comfortable if you were naked as well." He responds cheekily and I can't help but laugh.

"Don't press your luck." I scold, leaning forward and pressing my lips against his in a sweet kiss. I pull back, too soon for both of our liking, and start heading towards the door. "I'll be right back." I walk into the main common area, the kitchen is to the left and the living room to the right. Jared is lounging on the couch with some sporting game on and a girl I haven't seen before is cuddled up against his side.

"I don't want to say I told you so, but I knew you'd be back." Jared laughs. "This is my girlfriend, Kim, by the way." The girl shyly send a wave my way. "She just finished freshmen year at University of Washington, that's where you went, right?" He asks.

"Yeah, what's your major?" I ask, inching a little closer to them.

"Education." She smiles. I perk up a little at that.

"Did you have Pilarski last semester?" I question.

"Ugh!" She groans, surprising me since she'd seemed so shy moments before. "She's the absolute _worst_. She was the only teacher who I couldn't get an A with last semester. It was like she refused."

"Oh my god, same!" I gasp. "I knew my papers were A material but I finished her communications and journalism class with a B+. She refuses to give A's."

"We should totally get together some time and you'll have to tell me which classes to take or not to take." She perks up.

"Yeah, that would be great but it'd probably have to be in Seattle…I'm heading back there tomorrow." I inform her with a shrug.

"Does Paul know?" Jared asks.

"Well, yeah." I fidget under his gaze. "I don't live here anymore, Jared, and what happened today confirms that I don't belong here."

"It just means you have more friends here than you thought." He responds with a shrug.

"The wolf thing really isn't that bad." Kim smiles. "You get used to it."

"Wait, so she knows too?" I ask. "Does _everyone_ in La Push know?"

"No, of course not. Kim is my…well why would I lie to her?" Jared pulls Kim even closer to him. "Just like Paul and Jacob don't want to lie to you."

"Whatever." I snap, turning around and heading into the kitchen area like I had originally come in here to do. I pull two cups out of the cabinet that Paul had used last night and filled them with water from the tap. I open a few cabinets until I find what I'm looking for, a bag of chips sits unopened and I snatch them off the shelf. I head back into Paul's room and find him sitting exactly where I had left him.

"I love barbecue chips." Paul states

"Me too." I smile, filing this tiny bit of information about him away. I place both cups of water on the bedside table and lounge against his good side, opening the bag of chips.

"The only reason they're still here is because Jared thinks they are gross, otherwise he would have stolen them from me." He explains, grabbing a handful of chips.

"Well I think Jared's gross, so this is our gain." I affirm, taking a handful myself. Paul finishes chewing and his face morphs into a more serious expression.

"Can we talk about this now?" He asks. I shrug, but glance over at him to let him know I'm listening. "It's a lot, okay? I don't want you to think that any of us don't think it's a lot. But this is a protected secret and you can't tell anyone."

"Of course I'm not going to tell anyone. God! They would think I was _crazy_!" I roll my eyes, reaching over for my cup of water. "I won't tell." I promise, just incase he needs to hear it. "I just feel so…_stupid_. Like, I've never noticed Jake wasn't _human_. Wait. How long has this been happening for?"

"Three or four years." He answers. "We're still human, Rach, we just have some extra strengths."

"Yeah, yeah." I mumble, putting the cup back on the table and reaching for more chips. His fingers draw circles on my side.

"Jake and your dad didn't want to pull you into this life. None of us want to pull our families into this life and we've tried really hard not to. We're protectors of this tribe and it's not a rewarding job…well, most of the time." He smiles at me, studying my face like he's looking for something. "I'm sorry you were pulled into this."

"God, like I care about being pulled into this, I'm seriously just trying to figure out if what we did last night is categorized as beastality!" I gasp, shoving him for a second, forgetting he was actually seriously injured today.

"I think you're in the clear, Rachel." He laughs.

* * *

By dinner time, Paul's broken arm and dislocated shoulder are completely healed and we've talked about everything. I know more about him than I ever knew about my last boyfriend or about Brad. I have even explained the real reason why I'm in La Push. I needed to talk to someone about it, to tell _someone_. He's sympathetic and listens as I rant in great detail about my old boss and how horrible everyone is. There's finally a knock on the door around 6:30. I tense, glancing up at Paul.

"It's just Jared." He explains and I wonder how he knows that. "Come in." He says a bit louder. Jared swings open the door. He's carrying a plate wrapped in tin foil.

"I come baring gifts of burgers from Sam and Emily as well as Oreos for Rachel from Jake as an apology for attacking your wolf." Jared states, chucking the Oreos at me.

"Tell Jacob he is still a little bitch but that I will eat every single one of these Oreos because it would be rude not to."

I fall asleep that night happy…happier than I should be given the circumstances and happier than I've felt since college.

* * *

"Can I join you?" Paul asks from outside the shower door the next morning. I almost fall in surprise but open the door and let him in, trying to keep the steam from escaping.

"You're walking! Are you alright?" I ask, looking down at his leg but getting distracted by his dick.

"I'm fine though your concern is nice." He states, wrapping his arms around me and pressing his lips to mine.

"You know I'm leaving in like an hour, right?" I gasp as he trails kisses down my neck. "And I'll never see you again."

"Don't be dramatic, Rachel, of course you'll see me again." He growls, pressing my back against the side of the shower wall. Maybe he was right. But it seemed more plausible that he would be sitting in that bar a few days from now and find someone else to take home.

"Alright, alright." I surrender, allowing him to kiss me until the water's cold.

* * *

"You really don't have to come." I say, bouncing back and forth on the balls of my feet. I'm standing in Paul and Jared's kitchen. My hair is wet and tangled since Paul and Jared don't own conditioner and I'm wearing my leggings that still have dirt on them. Paul's given me another one of shirts to wear, this time a dark grey one, that he's said I can keep.

"It's just to your house, like two minutes away. Jake's not going to attack me, he feels horrible." Paul states.

"How do you know?" I ask, leaning over Paul and swiping a Froot Loop that spilled from his bowl when he was pouring cereal.

"Because he's my alpha." He explains. "And because he's texted me about fifty times since yesterday morning."

"Fine you can come with me but I'm not talking to Jake. I'm just getting my things and then heading back to Seattle." I say.

"Okay, okay." He pacifies, pushing his bowl of cereal away and standing up from the counter. "Let's go." I follow him out to his and Jared's truck.

"You sure you want to leave at all?" Paul asks, shutting the door behind me and all but materializing in the seat next to me. I jump in surprise at his speed but stand firm in my decision to leave today. It's Wednesday and I need to get back to my place…well Katy and Jeff's place and get settled. I then have to update my resume and find jobs to apply for and then actually _go_ and apply to those jobs. I had my two days of pity and it was time to get back to reality, as much as I wanted to go back to Paul's bed and never leave.

"I have to." I sigh. "I _need_ a job and I need to not feel so overwhelmed by this place."

"Okay, okay." He responds, tossing me a sly smile. "You'll just be missing my company."

"Oh, please!" I bark out a laugh. "Like you're my only option."

"Ouch." He places a hand dramatically over his chest as if he's wounded. "Well you let me know when you find a guy as loyal as me."

"Loyal?" I ask. "Because you're a dog? Is that a K9 joke?" He winks at me as we pull into my driveway.

"Maybe you should wait in the—" I start, glancing at the house and wondering if Jake is home, but Paul is already out of the truck and opening my door.

"Oh Jake and I will be fine," He shrugs, "Besides, you're not getting out of the hottest goodbye kiss of your life." In spite of what I know I should do, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his head down to my level so I can kiss him. Paul is so full of it, but I have never wanted to kiss or enjoyed kissing someone as much as him. The kiss starts off forceful but moves to be more gentle. My chest aches again and I wonder if he can tell I'm irrationally feeling sad at the prospect of maybe never seeing him again. He finally pulls back and rests his forehead against mine.

"That was one hell of a goodbye kiss." I whisper, still keeping my eyes closed, trying to prolong the moment.

"Good luck finding a job, any firm would be lucky to have you." He whispers back. I start to smile even though I'm feeling sad. "And, you know, if you want to talk, I could give you my—"

"Rachel!" My dad's voice barks from the front ramp. We both break apart immediately. My father makes no move to exit the house but he still doesn't look happy.

"One second, Daddy!" I call in the sweetest voice I can manage and the hard look on his face softens slightly. "Just go, okay? I don't want there to be anymore fighting."

"But—"

"I'll be back at Christmas?" I say, shrugging, but that only brings a pained look to his face. _That's seven months from now_. We both knew he would find plenty of other one-night stands before then. I peck his lips once more. "Bye, Paul."

"Bye, Rach." He says quietly, watching me until I'm in the house and the front door is shut.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Up next: We're back in Seattle! How long do you think these two will last without talking to each other? :)**


	5. Confession

"Okay." I sigh, lounging on the couch with Katy and drinking a large glass of chardonnay. "I need to tell you something that happened while I was in La Push." Katy perks up, taking a sip of her own glass of wine. It's two days later. I'm back in Seattle, fully moved into Jeff and Katy's apartment, and my resume is in the hands of someone at every law firm in town. I had even applied to be an aid at the courthouse. It wasn't what I wanted to do but I was desperate for anything.

"Yeah?" She asks. "Does it have anything to do with why you're acting so strange?"

"I haven't been acting strange." I insist, but I know that's not one-hundred percent true. I've felt…off since I came back to Seattle. In reality I know it has something to do with Paul. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. If I wasn't refusing to speak with Jake, I would have already caved and asked him for Paul's phone number. "I met a guy." I say slowly.

"You _what_!?" She practically shrieks.

"It was nothing serious!" I quickly defend. "I stayed at his place for the night and—"

"You slept at his place?" She gasps. "The Rachel I know never stays over!"

"I slept at his place for two nights." I groan.

"Oh my god! You really like him!" She squeals.

"No, I don't!" I say in a rush. "Let's be realistic here. He lives three and a half hours away. That's way too far for a booty call and it's not like I'm going to date him. I didn't even get his number."

"What do you mean you didn't get his number?" She gasps, taking another big gulp of her wine. "You slept at his place two nights in a row and _didn't get his number_!"

"He didn't straight up ask for it and I felt weird offering it to him." I explain. "I mean I only go back to La Push for Christmas usually, it seemed stupid to pretend we could be in a relationship." I sigh thinking back on the two days we spent together in his bed talking and doing other things. "My god, Katy, you would die though. He is so beautiful."

"Like on a scale from one to Jake?" Katy asks.

"Ew!" I make a face at her. "I'm not comparing the guy I had sex with to my brother."  
"Your brother is H-O-T, hot…is he eighteen now?"

"_Yes,_ he is, but I would literally kill you if you ever made a move on him." I threaten, briefly wondering if this was how Jake felt when his friend made a move on me. "But yeah, Paul, is hotter than Jacob." I concede. Katy laughs and pours more wine into my glass.

"Damn girl, drink up, you deserve it." She toasts.

* * *

The first text from Paul arrived four days after I'd gotten back to Seattle. He must have gotten my number from Jacob.

_*Does being four hours away make you feel less overwhelmed?*_

Seeing the text from him made my heart beat fast and my face feel hot. He hadn't even said his name. But even before I had opened the text, seeing the unfamiliar numbers on my phone screen had given me butterflies. I just _knew_ it was him. I should have just asked for his number before I left, but after I made a big deal of leaving La Push it felt like asking for it would be backtracking.

_*It's a different type of overwhelmed.*_ I had answered. He had replied almost instantaneously.

_*The kind without shape shifters?*_

_*The kind without unexplainable feelings.*_

It was a confident answer on my part, but who wasn't more confident over text?

_*How's Brad?*_ He asked.

_*Not planning on seeing him. How's the bar?*_

_*Not planning on going.*_

I smiled stupidly at my phone and thanked Taha Aki that I was by myself in Katy's guest room with no witnesses to my madness. I started to type a reply when a phone call came in. I picked up right away.

"God, I miss you." Paul said from the other end before I could even say hello. "I know that's weird to say since we spent so little time together but I do. A lot."

"I miss you too, I thought I was the only one." I admitted, feeling relieved that my feelings weren't one sided.

"Well you're always welcome at my place." He offered. "We wouldn't even have to tell anyone you're here and I would get you all the beer and BBQ chips you wanted."

"That is very tempting but I am worried I'd go crazy in La Push or that I'd melt into a wolf." I sighed, briefly considering the possibility of getting in my car and driving the three and a half hours to La Push and Paul right at that moment. I wouldn't get there until around 2:00 am but it wasn't the worst idea.

"Phase." He replied.

"Huh?"

"Phase. You said melt into a wolf. We call it phasing." He explained. "And you wouldn't phase into a wolf just from being in La Push. In fact, you wouldn't phase at all. You're too old."

"Well you know right where to hurt a girl, Paul. Next will you be going into a rant about how my eggs are drying up and I only have so many child bearing years left?" I joked. "Also, it's not _my _fault that I kind of love being a cougar."

"You know that's not what I meant." He laughed. "We phase between the ages of fourteen and eighteen. So while I may be biologically twenty, I am physically about twenty-five. I wouldn't worry about the whole cougar thing, unless of course you weren't talking about me. Have you decided you are interested in sleeping with Quil?"

"Now _that _would be overwhelming."

That conversation was last week and since then we had only gone a few hours without speaking and knowing what the other was doing. In the middle of a texting spree, one of us would randomly call the other and continue the conversation as if we had been talking on the phone the entire time. And I kind of loved it. A lot.

_*My interview isn't for a half hour but I'm already here.* _I text.

_*You'll do great!*_

_*I'm so nervous, I think I may throw up.*_

My phone rings.

"Are you already sitting in the waiting room?" Paul asks.

"God no, I don't want them to think I am that desperate." I assure him. "I'm standing outside the building like a completely normal person."

"You're so qualified for this job, Rach, you're going to do great." He promises me. "And, if it doesn't work out, there are still plenty of other places in the city."

"I know, I know." I sigh. "Interviews just make me nervous."

"What's your biggest weakness?" He asks in a mock-serious voice.

"I would say my biggest weakness is that I just _care_ about my work _so much_ it can get in the way of me having a personal life." I answer sarcastically.

"You're going to crush it." Paul promises. "Call me when you're done. I want to hear all about it."

* * *

"They offered me a job on the spot!" I practically scream into the phone the second I am out of the office and waiting at the bus stop one block away from the building.

"What?" Paul gasps, "That's amazing, Rach! Congratulations!"

I knew my first call or text should have been to Katy but the person whose reaction I really wanted was Paul's.

"I know, I know." I feel like I could cry and my cheeks hurt from smiling so wide. "And everyone seemed so, so nice. I mean, it's just a legal aid job and I will never see the inside of a courtroom but that's okay! And I'll have my own cubicle, I'm even allowed to bring a potted plant if I'd like."

"That's great." Paul laughs and I can tell he's smiling too. The bus arrives and I fumble in my pockets for my bus card, finding it just as I make it to the front of the line, and swipe before taking a seat in the second row.

"So what's up? Are you at work?" I ask.

"Yeah, it's a slow day though, just some oil changes and a cracked windshield." He explains and, now that I'm inside the bus and not on the busy street, I can hear the slight hum of tools and clanking of metal. "Jake keeps looking through the window outside, dying to know what you're saying which is actually really funny so if we could prolong this conversation as long as possible that would be great."

"What, his super human hearing doesn't reach that far?" I ask, lowering my voice just slightly on the words 'super human', although anyone listening wouldn't believe me anyways.

"He wishes." Paul says. "I mean, if it weren't for all the sounds in the garage he totally would be able to hear."

"That's freaky, I don't know if I'll ever get used to that."

"It was weird at first but now it's just second nature." Paul explains then, in a softer voice, "He just really cares about you and he was probably more worried than you about your interview."

"Stupid pack mind." I mutter.

"You know I try to block as much as I can from everyone but it's really hard with Jacob, he's my alpha and he cares about you so freaking much. You're not just his sister…you're apart of his pack." His words carry so much weight and I'm surprised by the seriousness in his voice.

"Because I know about everything?" I ask, wondering if Rebecca is apart of his pack too…or if knowing makes me special.

"Uh, yeah, sorta." He says. "Anyways, I have to go, I think if I stay out here any longer Jake will throw something through the window and we don't make enough to be replacing windows. But, again, congratulations and I'm really, really proud of you — you deserve to be happy and they are so lucky to have you."

"Thanks, Paul." I mumble, feeling my smile creep back up.

"Talk later, Rach."

When I pull my phone away from my ear, I realize I have about twenty text messages all from Katy, most of them just question marks.

_*I GOT THE JOB!*_ I text back.

* * *

"So this will be your desk." Callie explains to me as we round a corner and walk right into a small cubicle at the back of the huge office. "Feel free to decorate it however you like, IT will be over later to set up your computer login and email." Callie was one of the secretaries up front and had been assigned with showing me around. I put my box of belongings on the desk and follow her back out and down the hall, passing others in cubicles. I smile at those who look up as we walk by and a few smile back in response. "This is the break room, don't steal food from the fridge if it has a label. People would rather you criticize their work than take their salad."

"Of course." I nod wide eyed. She quirks a smile and keeps walking. "Morning meetings take place in here." She gestures to a large conference room. "You're on Andrea Bonds team so you'll receive emails from her about additional meetings to go over her cases. For the most part she will be the one assigning you work and research. Sound good?"

She points out a couple of other things in the office and I nod my head, trying to memorize everything she is saying.

"Well if you want to head back to your cubicle, you can start to get set up and I'll call IT and have them come by." Callie suggests.

"Perfect." I say. "Thank you." She turns in the opposite direction from the cubicles and heads back to her desk up front. I stand there for a couple more moments, taking it all in, and then head back to the cubicle she had just showed me. I turn the corner into the cubicle and jump back in surprise, letting out a little squeak. The girl who is sitting at a desk that is definitely not mine jumps in surprise too.

"I'm so sorry!" I apologize. "My cubicle must be the next one over." I start to retreat backwards but she holds out her hand instead, waving me back in.

"No, no!" She exclaims. "You're Rachel right? The new legal aid?" I nod my head, entering back in. She stands up and reaches out a hand. "I'm Jess!" She introduces, shaking my hand. "I'm also on Andrea's team so we'll be working pretty closely together."

"It's so nice to meet you!"

"It's going to be great to have another girl on the team." She says. "It's been just me and these two goons for the past month while they've been trying to fill your position." She gestures at the two cubicles across from her's. One of the guys is on the phone but sends me a wave. "That's Sean." The other guy stands up and extends his hand.

"I'm Anthony, nice to meet you." He introduces. I reach over the cubicle wall and shake his hand.

"Rachel, nice to meet you too." I greet, still feeling nervous about this job but also feeling happy and excited about this new opportunity and the prospect of working with people my age.

"Andrea's awesome." Jess explains. "She's in court this morning but we'll have a debriefing this afternoon to go over the cases from this morning and prep for tomorrow. You'll have a pretty easy week this week. She'll have you sit with each of us over the next few days so we can show you how she likes everything and then she'll assign you your own cases to work on."

"Sounds great!" I smile and I genuinely mean it. For the first time, I think about the fact that getting fired was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. I had been so unhappy for the last year and this is probably the first time I've gone to work and not felt the dread that Geisness & Co brought me.

On my lunch break later that day, I text Paul a quick update. He sends me back a whole line of heart emojis and I can't help but smile dumbly at my phone. It was definitely worth being fired because it led me to him.


	6. Wrong

"Rachel." Katy sighs, standing in front of the TV I was pretending to watch, when in reality I was simply texting Paul. "You have that dopey look on your face again. It's actually disgusting."

"Hey! You're in a happy relationship, aren't you suppose to love when people are like this?" I argue.

"Yes, I do love when others are in happy relationships but you, my friend, are not one of those people." She explains, snatching the cell phone out of my hand before I can hide it.

"Hey!" I gasp, standing up and reaching for the phone.

"Oh my god." She mumbles, scrolling through the texts.

"What?" I question, my heart beating fast. _Had we mentioned anything about the wolves recently?_

"You're having real conversations with him like a real person, Rach." She stares at me wide eyed. "I legit thought it was going to be all dick pics. Rachel, are you having human emotions?"

"I can have a genuine conversation with a guy, Katy." I snap, reaching my hand out for my phone. "I mean, if you scroll up a little more you'll see some dick pics but still, I can be genuine."

"Well I am very impressed, Rachel, maybe you are finally growing up." She smiles.

"Hey! I'm twenty-two thank you very—" My phone starts ringing.

"Hello!" Katy yelps, answering the phone on the first ring and dodging out of the way of my hand as I go to swat the phone away from her.

"Hey! Give it back!" I yell, chasing after her.

"Oh my god! Your voice is _so_ sexy, can you send me a pic of you? Like not a dick pic, I already saw_ that_." She asks, jumping onto the couch, then to the coffee table, then to the neighboring arm chair.

"Katy! This isn't funny!" I call, following her. "Give it back!"

"Oh, this is Rachel's BFF, Katy. She's right here and very angry we're talking, so we should probably continue." She laughs.

"For real, Katy! Don't embarrass me!" I'm actually nervous she's going to say something I'd prefer her not to. Paul and I have been very open with each other, telling the other about our lives and everything that we do but we've been very broad about us specifically. We spent two days together, we weren't by any means in a relationship. Katy laughs and pauses in her race from me.

"Well it was very nice to talk to you, Paul." She says before handing my phone over to me.

"Hey." I breathe into the phone a little of out breath.

"Do you show everyone my dick pics?" He greets cheerfully, letting me know he isn't actually mad.

"No." I groan. "She took my phone."

"Well, Katy seems great, especially if she puts up with you." Paul states.

"Hey!" I laugh, that bubbly feeling rising in my chest. "She's lucky I let her put up with me!" Katy sticks her tongue out at me and I hold up my middle finger at her, falling back onto the comfy couch.

"How are you? How was your day?" He asks.

"It was good, I'm still getting used to the new office. I found out today we have an espresso machine that anyone can use. An espresso machine, Paul! I can get free espresso at my place of employment." I sigh happily. He laughs.

"That's great, Rach."

"What about you? What's up?" I ask.

"It's raining here, I know you're shocked." He says. "But Jared and I both had patrol this afternoon and I swear our house will never not smell like wet dog." I laugh. "Speaking of wet dog…maybe you should call your brother."

"Are you for real?" I groan.

"Yeah I am. He's still upset about how you guys left things. You know Rebecca never calls or texts, but you guys used to talk all the time and now you won't answer him." Paul says.

"How can you be okay with what happened?" I ask then lower my voice dramatically incase Katy is listening from her bedroom. "He literally broke multiple bones in your body."

"He's my alpha, Rach." He explains. "He was mad at me and he needed to assert his dominance. We're all good now. But the entire pack knows our alpha is upset and that can be fixed with a simple text or call from you."

"I'll think about it." I finally say. "Is he mad we're talking?"

"Not at all, how do you think I got your number?" He says.

"So you mean you didn't have to steal it from his phone?" I ask, getting up from the couch and heading towards the guest bedroom that is now just my bedroom.

"Nah, he thought that maybe if I talked to you, you would forgive him." He is pulling at my heart strings, trying to get me to cave.

"Ugh, you're the worst!" I finally decide. "Fine, I'll text him later."

"Thanks, Rach."

"Okay, I have to go." I sigh. "I have an early meeting tomorrow."

"Goodnight."

I lay in bed for a few minutes staring at the ceiling before sighing and picking my phone back up.

_*I don't know much about wolves but it's probably not good if an alpha is distracted or upset. So get your shit together, baby brother! It's not like I was never going to talk to you ever again.*_

I smile, satisfied at the text.

_*And thanks for the Oreos.*_ I add. No part of me actually wanted to fight with Jacob. And I do feel like a weight has been lifted off of me.

_*Meant to hurt Paul, didn't mean to hurt you.*_ He answers almost immediately. I roll my eyes.

_*Not helping your case by being mean to MY wolf. Also, heard you smell like wet dog, gross.*_ I respond.

_*Love you.*_ He sends back.

I did feel better.

* * *

"So I'm _you're_ wolf?" Paul asks on the phone the next day. I blush bright red even though he is almost four hours away and can't see me over the phone. I have just gotten off the bus a block away from work. I had found out that there was a bus route that went right past Jeff and Katy's apartment building and dropped me off only minutes from work. I had forced myself to take it to work for the past few days since I knew I should be saving the money I spent on gas and parking for an apartment of my own.

"I knew I shouldn't have sent Jake that." I groan. "God, you guys gossip more than Katy and me. And that's totally not what I meant, I mean, you're not_ mine_…you're just—"

"I kinda like it." He interrupts. "I don't mind. I'm not anyone else's wolf, so why shouldn't I be yours?" I bite my lip trying to repress a smile but I know he can hear it in my voice when I respond.

"Uh, because we don't know each other?" I remind him. At this point I have reached the large office building and stand off to the side so I can finish my conversation.

"Of course we do!" He huffs. "Just because we haven't spent a lot of time face to face doesn't mean we don't know each other."

"Sure, sure." I concede, shifting my purse to my other arm.

"But fine, I don't have to be your wolf, I can easily find someone else." He grumbles playfully. "I hear Sue Clearwater is looking to get back into the dating game…"

"Fine!" I blurt out laughing. "I want you to be my wolf." I lower my voice on the last word so that anyone heading into the building can't hear me, not that they would know what I was talking about anyway.

"That's more like it." He laughs.

"I have to go." I murmur, glancing at my watch. "I need to be in a meeting in five and I can't run because I'm in heels."

"I love it when you talk dirty to me." He sighs.

"Shut up!" I laugh. "I'll talk to you later." I hang up the phone and head towards the door to the main building.

* * *

I had been ignoring Paul.

And it _hurt_.

It wasn't that I was trying to be mean or that he had done anything wrong. It had just hit me that what we were doing was _wrong_.

He had told me he was my wolf a week ago and even though I didn't feel like that made him my boyfriend, the dynamic had definitely shifted. I felt like he really was mine and I wanted to be with him and no one else.

But I realized last night — after we had finally agreed to stop texting and go to sleep — that it wasn't fair to either of us to pretend we had a future together.

I would not be moving back to La Push. I had worked too hard to leave the reservation behind and I had another two years of school ahead of me. On the other hand, it would bd incredibly selfish to ask Paul to move to Seattle. His family and life was in La Push. I also wasn't sure if he could even leave the wolf pack. We lived too far away from each other to make long distance work, especially when we both had no intention of moving anywhere else in the future.

So I had made the decision that I needed to cut ties with him. I had fallen too hard, too fast, and that scared me more than anything else. I had spent forty-eight hours with Paul and, sometimes, when we were talking about everything and nothing all at once, I felt like I maybe even _loved_ him. That scared the shit out of me. I had never felt anything for anyone like I did for Paul and it wasn't normal.

_Are you okay? _

I ignore Paul's sixth text of the day. I had never not answered him within minutes, so I understood his concern. I felt empty without my normal Paul updates throughout the day but I forced myself to focus on my work so I'd have all the paperwork Andrea needed to bring to her client meeting tomorrow morning.

_Can you please tell Paul you're not dead? I've told him I'd be able to tell if anything happened to you but he is seriously getting on my last nerves. Just text the guy back! _

That last text is from Jacob which makes me feel even guiltier about not texting Paul back. I don't know what Jake means about him being able to tell if something happened to me and decide it's probably just an alpha wolf thing. I'm apart of his pack too, right? Knowing I'm affecting Paul and Jacob's day in a negative way is reason enough for me to know that I need to cut things off with Paul.

I am just a girl he spent two nights with and lives four hours away from him, I should not be affecting him in anyway at all.

_Hey! Super busy at work, talk later? _I text Paul and I know he probably see's right through it but I don't care.

_Okay…_

Now I just feel even guiltier.

By the time I get home that night, I feel even more miserable than ever and I know it shows.

"What happened at work?" Katy asks, while she reads the directions for her frozen dinner.

"Nothing?" I respond, plopping down at the counter and dropping my bag on the ground.

"You look like fucking death, what gives?" She prompts and sets the timer on the microwave for the meal before sitting down next to me on one of the bar stools. I don't know how to explain to her what's going on with Paul and why I'm feeling the way I am. I know she wouldn't understand, especially since she can't know about the whole wolf thing. She would also think I'm crazy if I tried to tell her that we have this weird connection.

"Nothing." I repeat. "I'm just going to go to bed."

I toss and turn for a half hour, trying to get comfortable, before I finally give in and dial Paul's number.

"Rachel?" He answers on the first ring.

I don't know why but my first reaction is to start crying.

"Rachel?" He repeats, sounding slightly more panicked. "What's wrong? What happened? Do you need me to run there right now?" His worrying only makes me cry harder.

"Nothings wrong but everything wrong." I choke out, which seems like an accurate way to describe how I'm feeling.

"Okay, okay, tell me what happened." He soothes.

"I don't think we should talk anymore." I try to explain.

"Oh…" He whispers. "I…if that's what you want…"

"It's not what I want…" I sniffle, trying to make myself stop crying. "It's just silly to think we're going to be together and I cant just text you every ten minutes for the rest of my life."

"Rachel…I…" Paul sounds exasperated, like he's not quite sure what to say. "If you want to date someone in Seattle or see other guys, you can. I want you to be happy, I don't want to hold you back."

"No," I continue to cry but gain a little bit more control over my voice. "I don't want to see anyone in Seattle, it's just not fair that we're so far away from each other."

"I don't know what you want me to say." He responds. "We don't have to talk anymore if you don't want to but that's not what I want. I understand if you need someone physically there with you all the time and I know that's not me right now…what can I do to make this better?"

"I don't know." I admit but finally make myself stop crying. It is good to hear his voice. This is the longest we had gone in the last month without speaking and I don't know if I could go the rest of my life without hearing his voice. How I feel about Paul scares me but I don't want to admit that to him — partly because I know he'll phase and everyone will know what I've said and partly because my emotions don't even make any sense to me. "I don't want you to think I want to be with someone else because that's not it. I just…what are we doing?"

"We're taking it one day at a time." He sighs. "Hold on." I can hear him fumbling with his phone and then mine beeps to let me know I have an incoming FaceTime call. Even though I look like a mess, I answer, wiping furiously at my eyes. Seeing Paul's face come on the screen makes my heart hurt. In the last month we texted and talked on the phone everyday but we hadn't actually FaceTimed — I hadn't actually seen his face since I left him in my driveway.

"Please stop crying, Rach." He says and his beautiful face actually looks pained. I realize he's laying down in his bed so I lay back down and prop the phone up. From this angle I can almost pretend he's laying next to me.

"It's good to see you." I whisper, my voice feeling thick. I feel more at peace than I have in weeks and it actually does calm me down to see his face.

"I'm sorry I'm not there with you." Paul says. "I know it's not fair."

"I'm sorry I freaked out." I respond, still wiping at my eyes. "I just thought…maybe a clean break would be best? But I don't want to stop talking to you."

"Tell me about your day." Paul says.

He listens to me yammer on about my life and my day until I'm too tired to speak. Then he tells me a story about the protectors of the Quileute tribe and how they would do anything for their people and those they love until I fall asleep.

* * *

**Welcome to all the new readers, hope you guys are enjoying! I think we need a visit from Paul next chapter, what do we think?**


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